Entries from white space, white noise tagged with 'personal'
Our culture
Kill or be Killed Photoshop CS3 February 2008 (Click to expand) Formed of a culmination of thoughts, emotions and experiences from two years of mandatory national service spent in the country's armed forces, this piece of work seeks to...
I don't think anyone even reads this anymore
So I've been on some sort of hiatus, granted I never quite knew how to fit myself into this blogging thing, it became especially glaring during the limbo after leaving the Forces, and then school came along and took away...
Years ago
When I was sixteen I created what was probably my first true piece of art with something to say. I wasn't very good with titles so I termed it as best as I could, Popularity. That was the word that...
The memories they carry
Sum (Click to expand)...
Contesting notions
Harbor Raid Photoshop CS2 (Click to expand) Popularity contests aren't the type of things I'm most comfortable taking part in, partly because they require a certain manner of shameless self-promoting which I have never been good at, and also...
In and on the absence
It's strange, and refreshing always to find that people get something out of visiting this space. As I receive the odd email, comment or private message once a blue moon or so, it's easy to discard these sentiments, rather believing...
In darkness a light shines on you and me
An update of sorts is probably due here as we move into the month of September, and as I move into the final stretch of military serfdom. It's actually rather amusing that this site is still getting past 100 hits...
They lied when they said the good die young
If you're wondering, the blank space that was seen here for the past couple of weeks was no bug at all, it's just how it's supposed to be since I set MovableType up to only display entries of the last...
No use telling people won't buy it
Quarteryear (Click to enlarge) All except the first are sketches made in the past quarter year or so. The last one consists of people from a magazine and the rest were drawn from life. Yes even the Peak one,...
The little good
Over a Game or Two (Click to expand) These were from two weeks ago, which was also the last time I was actually outside home for any kind of social activity. Like the previous two gatherings, we were still...
From the backseat, part 2 (it's been a long time)
From The Backseat, Part 2 (Click to expand) Apart from the mundane unpleasant things I am repeatedly forced to accomplish daily and complaining about it, finally getting off my ass to process and post month-old photos, anticipating Command &...
From the backseat, part 1
From The Backseat, Part 1 (Click to expand) Just back from a short New Year family trip up peninsula Malaysia to Penang, can't say I'm not tired after 10+ hours of being baked in a car by tropical heat...
Here be thorns
There are some I'd rather not have met or known. "Friends" I'd rather not remember or give two shits about. Those I learn to love to hate, as with certain bits of myself. Like Conscience, and this pretense at trying...
Euphemism for slavery
It's getting so damn tiring, this constant back and forth motion; graphing an impossibly straight line with sudden peaks and troughs on occasions unknown - in and out, work and slack, bliss and depression, caring and not. This whole empty...
And I think so too
Victory Photoshop CS2 Dawn of Victory concept illustrations (Click to expand) Painted these over the weekend for the Dawn of Victory mod, pretty fun to do, and I'm quite pleased with how my speed works are beginning to not...
Future undecided
Checked out the Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts' open house over weekend, from what I gathered I'm leaning ever more away from this choice. My largest consideration has got to be environment, that'd mean first and foremost my peers, -...
Might as well
Hard Fall Photoshop CS2 (Click to expand) It might as well have happened this way; take away the living part of life and just throw us the uniforms, pep talks, and high flung intentions at birth. Might as well...
A pictorial travelogue, part 2 (and a happy new year)
So this is the new year, seems more like just a number to change at the end of written dates. I didn't celebrate in any way; it was just another day in a weekend for me, like how it is...
A pictorial travelogue, part 1
When I woke up this morning, a thought occured to me that everyday could and should be Christmas, because I believe in a living God, and that meant that the greatest miracle wasn't to be remembered just one day in...
Normal change is not constant
It's interesting how we as humans have this affixed wonderment towards time and its passage, like how I had the immediate tendency to describe time as having flown in starting off this entry. Disregarding my general lack of creativity in...
Self reminders
Start on Andy's shoes. Finish Andy's shoes. Finish painting. Hopefully not digitally. Complete the English campaign; conquer Europe. Collect Threadless tees. Buy Battlefield 2142. Buy Worm. Complain less. Pray more. Learn to love. Be happy....
Good to be back
It's sure been a while, the computer went down for a freak reason still unknown to me and that took me three whole weeks to fix, consuming precious weekends and days on leave which would've otherwise been spent, well, doing...
Disnormality
Don't panic, everything's back to normal! What a week it's been, nothing quite like getting a text in the field at 8 in the morning about your website getting hacked while you're already trying to deal with an unexplained unchangable...
Speed
Back from three days of field ops deployment at - I'm not sure if I'm allowed to disclose the location, so I'll just say it's in the western part of Singapore - (which happens to coincide with the International Monetary...
Connect
Threaded Photoshop 7 (Click to expand) Person to person wired up. The connections we make hang by threads. Speech by bytes. Tension but no feeling. Do they carry any life? Are we getting any closer? It is easy to...
Call us out
They're Building Hate Today Photoshop 7 (Click to expand) Drew some direct reference from Manet's Execution of Maximilian, but as to what the work means, I'll leave it up to interpretation. Actually I didn't catch the Parade at all...
Of trivialities and patriotism
Another year, and nothing's changed. Same over-earnest, over-the-top attempts at celebration, and I'd bet half of the nation has not a clue of what they're celebrating. Is our history and struggle for independence that boring or shameful? I think not,...
Run
Breaking Ranks Photoshop 7 (Click to enlarge) Not sure exactly what it's supposed to mean, if I had to I'd say it's the search for identity and dignity, and the struggle with being. Life's been fine so far....
Strange
Met this American guy round my age from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints on the way home today, he had a fellow friend with him and they were dressed in shirt and tie like salesmen, and...
In this time
What's been happening for the past two and a half weeks is that I've been learning to get acquainted with the armoured vehicle which I'm tasked to operate. Apart from rather clear discontent with how things are still being run...
Anaesthetise the falling
Freedom of speech Freedom of worship Freedom from want Freedom from fear How much of each do we have? After receiving a little "lecture" tonight coupled with some "reflections" - as if I couldn't understate more - I returned home...
It wasn't my call
The contention over National Service isn't so much whether it is necessary, but rather is the fact that it subdues basic human choice. It is the epitome of state control; to change a man, put him in his place and...
Stay out
So I was wrong, we get to stay out even though we're on course. There was a choice given - to weigh freedom and inconvenience against ristriction and solidarity. In the end sense found its way to me, that after...
Overrated
From author Dan Brown's website: ARE YOU A CHRISTIAN? Yes. Interestingly, if you ask three people what it means to be Christian, you will get three different answers. Some feel being baptized is sufficient. Others feel you must accept the...
Camaraderie
Went out for dinner and some drinks with a bunch of my BMT mates last night, it was all good just to see them again, remembering life then and talking about life now. I felt at ease, no insecurities, no...
Can't
I'm not like them, I can't feel, and I can't love. Every once in a while, something, I don't know what, just something will make me feel like I wasn't born with the capacity to do so. That's why I...
Still the same
But you and I know that we're not masters of our own lives. So many things that you want to do and say, but the opportunity slips away and it's a whole other scenario altogether. Yet who's to know what...
Plunge
Here I go back into the fray; had to keep reminding myself that I'm only one person, and there are thousands in this country going through the same things, if not even worse, with me everyday. Let's not forget either,...
Eat that
It seems they never fail to piss me off. As if I don't already have enough with NS to trouble me, the deluge of pressing questions about university applications just keep flowing. It's excruciating and I'm drowning, all I want...
Whatever for?
So are they your dreams or mine anyway? I'm not applying to NUS, NTU or SMU and that's final. If they want so much for that degree which I have no interest in working for, as if it were still...
Lately I don't know what to feel
Some tell me this, others tell me that. Amidst all the conflicting opinions I don't know what to do. I'm fine with what I got actually, and so are my parents. A for AEP with merit, D for History, O...
Happy whatever to you too
National service is bound to change you. You will lose track of your hopes, dreams and ideals, you will forget what you really want, love, and feel; you will forget who you are and who you want to be, you...
Fret
I'm scared of screwing up, very scared. I keep fretting over what could go wrong, and just breathe a sigh of relief after every training phase passes without incident. I don't want to spend more time than I have to...
They say that in the army
I was supposed to update on army life two days ago but procrastination and Battlefield 2 got the better of me. But anyways, like I mentioned before, it was fine, then again the real BMT hasn't exactly begun yet, so...
Happy Blessed Christmas
Because Christmas is about Christ. Going back to church for the first time in 5 years, I thought it'd be the best opportunity to receieve Christ once again. Actually coming to think of it it's the first real time I've...
Make it so
Tomorrow, a new chapter of my life begins. As cliche as that sounds, it's actually very true; the loss of freedom, a new commitment, a responsibility thrown upon my shoulders - one that I don't even want to carry. Perhaps...
This is nothing
Maybe it's only a figure of speech, that has me casting an eye on anything and everything that is promising Maybe my crime is as easy as this: to walk away from a lie, to walk away from what...
24 hours without sleep
I went without sleep for over 24 hours just so that my Drawing and Painting paper would turn out alright, and it did, in my opinion anyway. I liked how the final piece turned out, it seemed like I was...
To be
To question the assumptions When you see a still image of an action, how can you be sure of what is happening if you never saw that presumed action taking place? Certainly there will be visual clues that guide you...
Passing time
Why do I waste my time? In the midst of my terribly altered daily routine due to adopting a close to 12-hour shift in sleeping habits, I felt anxiety and panic for the first time. Yet there was also a...
Weak
Weakness is highly subjective, like good and evil. It exists in a state of competition, in comparison; for one to be weak, there must one which is strong. Are modern incompetencies weaknesses? Who dictates these criteria of judgement? Does majority...
Worth
Even though a part of me yearns for the recognition and attention, and for all the compliments I do get about my coursework - what with teachers yesterday during Nanyang's open house "kowtowing" to me, congratulating me and stuff -...
Exposure
Tonight was great. Exposure is NJ AEP's coursework exhibition which I checked out this evening, and what can I say other than that it's awesome? At first it left me feeling rather defeated - if I could use such a...
Graduation
Although you can say I've been sleeping better recently because I've been sleeping more, I've also been dreaming more, and dreams don't always equate to good sleep. Just woke up from a (or a collection of?) weird dream about lots...
Hypocrites
Now I'm not one to judge, but frankly I can't stand the so-called Christians who proclaim God's greatness and love for Him and how great Sunday's worship session was and whatnot, and then go on to bitch and rant in...
Unneccessary
I don't know what you use Friendster for, but I use it to keep in contact with friends - albeit on a rather superficial level with most, like "hey look here ****** is my 'friend' even though we haven't spoken...
Marching the hate machines into the sun
Watched a couple of BBC documentaries this evening, pretty insightful stuff, one was Holidays in The Dangerzone: Places That Don't Exist and it was about Georgia and its breakaway states, as well as how war could be imminent. I really...
Success is overrated
Isn't it sad when your teacher understands you better than your own parents? Last Friday, while chatting after lunch, I was suddenly asked by Isaac, "do you hate your parents?" Sure it was in a jokingly manner since Marv was...
Failure is always the best way to learn
Right, perhaps. I felt like dying when I realised how much I screwed up my GP essay today. I don't know what divisive means. Dammit people should start making words look like what they're supposed to mean. I wasn't upset...
A Message
I have no idea why I stopped suddenly with the posts, but I just did. But I guess I'm back now, so should I start updating from the most recent or the most distant? Ah let's start with Friday, I...
Here's to hope
There's a ton of stuff I'd just like to blurt out - like everyone else does, heh - but something's stopping me. No it's nothing that will get me in trouble with the authorities, I'm just not in the mood...
Eversmann
Man Down Photoshop 7 with reference (Click to enlarge) Old piece of work to fill in the space. Quite apt too since I've been reading Blackhawk Down (which story is quite different from what the movie depicted). War is...
Life goes on
I know that many Catholics have come to true faith in Jesus Christ as Savior, in spite of the teaching of their Church. But let us never loose sight of the fact that there is great error in the...
Tears
They just came, and I couldn't control them. I don't know why, totally broke down, maybe it's because she was willing to listen, because the guesses she put out were all... right. I do feel pretty messed up right now,...
Hah
Yes, go on, laugh at me. Laugh at me when you hear of my grades, scorn me, mock me, despise me, but hey, I don't give a hoot about grades anymore. Epitome of self-defeat? Justification for procrastination? I've tried studying,...
Feed Subscription
If you use an RSS reader, you can subscribe to a feed of all future entries tagged 'personal'. [What is this?]
