An update of sorts is probably due here as we move into the month of September, and as I move into the final stretch of military serfdom. It's actually rather amusing that this site is still getting past 100 hits a day in light of its inactivity, though something tells me that a large proportion of that is coming from ad and spam bots scouring Google Images.

I guess one thing I really want to write about is that in recent months, I've finally committed myself to attending church again. I mention this not to preach a great occurrence or anything, because understand that I am constantly struggling with my faith and believe I am in no position to do so, but rather I mention this because I feel it has been effecting a profound impact on me as a human being - on how I view life and its myriad intricacies, its ups and downs, people around me, my work, and God - and I feel it wouldn't do the progression of this blog or my art justice by avoiding this fact of my life. I've by no means experienced a miraculous-explosively-spiritual about-turn, and I probably haven't changed much at all in word and action; I still sin, I'm still a jerk from time to time, I still give people my shit, I still am judgmental, I still utter profanities abundantly, I still don't read the Bible all that much, and I still find it impossibly hard to love. But this community, fellowship, and simply receiving of the word, love and grace, taking it step by step, have provided for an increasing clarity in thought and understanding in increasing frequency, that I may even possess such awareness now to type this out. I find that amidst all this defining of my faith and yearning to feel Christ, and looking for the right words, I have surrounded myself with things to remind me of the fruitful pursuit, from music to art to people, and even though I still fall in and out of bitterness, anger and all that destroys, there is for once a feeling of hope. It's helped immensely to make it easier to stay out of the trap of feeling inadequate, to focus my ideas in an objective though not necessarily productive manner (and it doesn't bother me as much anymore that I don't do much in my weekends), to not think about death, to go to sleep free from pain, and simply to let go.