white space, white noise

Since I can't really do any illustration work right now, shall post some (crappy) photos of the day. Had to wake up at 5+ to go down to Raffles Place for this walkathon thing. Chinese Clan Associations or whatever, I don't really care, I just know I walked a hell lot today, from the UOB Plaza to Marina Promenade, then later a whole big circle to Suntec City for breakfast, then to Bugis for something else. Anyways enough talk, shots taken with a Casio Exilim EX-P505, minimal Photoshop-processing. Click to enlarge/expand.

Dark
It was around 7:30, I can't remember if the contrast was really that great, but whatever.

Gold
The other side.

Red
Communism lives? We were actually chased out of the station while waiting.

Underground
Nothing much.

Reflect
At the Esplanade.

Dog
Four legs good, two legs bad. Yes somebody brought their dog along.

That's all really, I would upload more but it's a pain when I have no FTP app and have to do it one by one using MT.
Oh yea almost forgot...

Doctor Freeman
Yes I bought it, damn good for insight and inspiration.

Man Down
Photoshop 7 with reference
(Click to enlarge)

Old piece of work to fill in the space. Quite apt too since I've been reading Blackhawk Down (which story is quite different from what the movie depicted). War is truly quite horrible, especially on the modern battlefield and even more so against an enemy that knows no rules. I pray that I'll never have to be called into action as a soldier, if I do, I hope to never be killed or incapacitated, but if I do, please let it happen painlessly and without me knowing.

Mr N. (I shall refrain from typing the full names of teachers here henceforth), Head of the Arts Faculty (hah doesn't matter anymore that I didn't write the name), would be coming down to look at our work and progress tomorrow, I know I have a mediocre amount of work done since the beginning of this year, but whatever, I'm not in this system to prove anything to anyone, it's just a stepping stone to other places; a place for me to waste my time in a more productive manner.

Just got a sort of job offer from someone making a text-based online RPG, well it's better than nothing yea? It'll definitely count towards job experience along with all my modding projects. And I can get paid doing it too, hohoho. Shall wait for the details first though, and it depends on whether I have the time or not.

I think I'm getting strange visitors.

It's become rather normal to have people come to the site through "my space" on msn search or google, but yesterday I got a hit through "stereotypes in singapore" (very weird!) and today, "nyjc lawrence". Teachers? I would say I don't care, but it's most interesting, the latter was actually searched from 2 local IP locations (one which I believe is myself, and the other lacks a hostname but ISP is "Ntunet", anyone know what that is?).

Anyways, it's strange that I'm not feeling all that bad about my out-of-service computer (typing from brother's PC), but I think that's because I still don't know if the hard disks are intact or not, I just don't feel like messing around with screws and cables right now. Though all signs still point toward just a blown power supply.

Yesterday's group discussion debate thing during history tutorial was, I think, the first time yet, in a full class setting in NYJC, that I felt like I was in a place worthy to be called a Junior College. I mean, there was actually a real discussion pertaining to the task at hand going on! But of course Mr. K is gonna switch the groups around next time, hope the vocality and intelligent input constant (or something) doesn't become lopsided with me on the 'losing end'.

My computer died today, something overheated and burned, no idea what...sudden whirring noise, then snap, crack, flash, darkness. Just hope the HDDs are intact, damn if they're not. I will cry.

HTML-handicapped me has to thank ImageReady (Photoshop actually) for its slices.
So the main page is finally done up properly - actually there's nothing new, it's just not "coming soon" anymore (it's actually been moved to and hidden in the Art section). I really need someone to help me with getting a gallery up, or should I just use HTML tables?

Friday ended horribly; I hate acrylics, they're impossible to work with - and I'm hopeless at mixing the colours I want. I guess that's one reason why I like digital art so much more, the full palette is right in front of you. Of course paint mixing is a skill in you have to train up but let's put things in perspective here, I haven't painted for a good 8 years or so before last year. I suppose I can paint, I just hate the whole colour mixing part.

Orange
Photoshop 7 with reference

It doesn't even look like her =P Well at least I got closer with the second try. Must draw more humans!

Oh well Tiff, hope you don't mind (also that I removed the ROXY and Che Che stuff haha), was bored, I can take it down if you don't like it. And the orange really came close to blinding me (or making me colour blind... all warm colours looked really dull for a while).

Just realised it's Thursday again, end of week 5. Time really is flying, yet I'm still moving at the same pace, if not even slower...

J1s this year: cannot make it. Council nominees especially. But hey, like I care about such matters anyway; it's so frivilous, I don't know why anyone even bothers coming up with coherent questions to ask - if not to flaunt their so-called linguistic prowess which is totally out of place. I mean, give me a break, does anyone seriously expect any kind of leadership initiative to come out of them? It's an election, and that's a popularity contest, period. It's a CCA where you get to do stuff in a team and leadership environment, not some for-the-betterment-and-enforcement-of-student-rights-grand-party-organisation-thingamajig. Not to say I can do better, but that's just the way the system is, and that's why they signed up (that's not why they suck, it's because they're totally lacking in confidence and eloquence). I have three words which can address this whole issue easily (with a little thinking on the same frequency, of course): This is Singapore.
(or Nanyang, whichever you want, but I don't see a difference since the latter does actually give a good representation of the former)

Royston Tan came today at lunch break for some career guidance talk. Apart from the high probability that no student in JC would even think of pursuing a creative career like TV Commercial Directing (which is what he does for a living, apparently making being a film maker, shooting short films [art, really] doesn't make you money), it was all pretty cool, he's a funny guy. He spoke a little about his films, the industry, Q&A, and we watched a demo reel of his recent commercial projects and a new short film, Monkeylove (which exact meaning I'm still trying to figure out).

Also did some thinking, about my future. Is it wrong to not accept the world as it is? Must I be pressed into this mould like everyone else? Do I have to plan every step that I take, count every cent I have, control every dollar I spend?
Had some "life-skills lecture" during Econs Tutorial (as usual) and I'm once again convinced of the stupidity and superficiality of this world. Is money all that important? It seems every job for everyone out there is simply about advancing some ladder, be it corporate, or whatever. I guess I have a lot to be thankful for; for having a talent so that I can begin to have the choice to not think about such matters. I really hate it all, I just want to do what I like and I don't care what people think. I just want to lead a reasonably comfortable life and enjoy doing what I do for a living, that's all that matters.
Apparently everyone else thinks different, whatever then, to each his own.

That's practically everything that's worth mentioning today.

The Chart, Version 1
For coursework, text and contents subject to change
Photoshop 7
(Click to enlarge)

Yea yea the words don't make sense, up to interpretation, but I'd like to hear what people think.

Forgot to mention, I got a 3 for PW (and indifferent towards it if, you want to know), also did the NS pre-enlistment stuff yesterday (plus booking of the medical checkup).

So I haven't been writing here, don't think anyone cares. Well anyways had a Paper 2 practice on Friday, it went fine... Ok so it was bad, but that's because I used a last minute composition - which looked good, lacked reference or any colour scheme - and not because my colours were dirty, and I stand my ground. Whoever made a rule to say that colours had to be pure? My yellows had some green, blue, and brown mixed in, so what? I thought the orange was still rather high-key and contrasted well with the dark dull browns and greens. Didn't finish the painting though, got to get more used to acrylic paint, to the point that I know doing what mixes exactly what colours.

I've suddenly lost my train of thought... Right, so the week was fine, same old skipping random school day; trying to stay awake at home after school; attempts at doing homework; praying for no teacher mood swings or tantrums because you didn't exactly complete your homework since you kind of fell asleep; following the same old timetable.

Was bored just now and watched The Road to El Dorado on TV, realised (and begun to appreciate) just how much work was put into such animated films. The light/shadow effects, the facial expressions; all the smooth actions; superb blending of 2D and 3D visual elements. Western animation is definitely not below the level Japanese anime (this is the part where I should name some random artists or studios from both camps and compare them to show similarities to back up my claim, but since I know of no such examples, I shall just insert a full-stop).

Ta Phrom, Cambodia
Photoshop 7 with reference
(Click to enlarge)

Speedpaint practice, kinda like how it turned out. So now I understand what they mean when they say work big.

Anyways, been listening to some new music...
I've actually heard The Postal Service on radio before (Lush 99.5), Ben Gibbard's (Death Cab For Cutie) voice is just so recognisable, and I was rather surprised to hear him sing to electronic music. Anyways the songs have nice melodies and lyrics, but the electronic beats are often straight-from-the-keyboard pre-recorded sounds (as opposed to the sounds of say, Radiohead, or The Observatory, or even Royksopp). Okay so I'm no expert on music, but like I said, my opinion, I'm not saying it's bad music, it's good, it's easy listening, I like it, I'm just saying it could be better. I think. You can check out "Such Great Heights" on the site.

Coldplay's B-sides are also cool stuff, don't know why I've never had them before. Anyways, if you don't know, their third album, X&Y, will be out in about two months' time, I'm quite interested in hearing how they'd have progressed, since, to "quote" a friend, AROBTTH was their best and the band couldn't possibly top it again. Well, I've read interviews and that's the same thing people are saying for X&Y (and some years back, Parachutes too), ah well time will tell.

This was a fairly interesting read.

I also recently read some other stuff - nonsense - at sgforums which really amounted to racism and prejudice against Caucasian foreigners (ie. ang mohs). I simply cannot stand how some locals can proclaim pride in "Singlish" and how it is "Singaporeanism" when they couldn't even speak or write properly its original derivated form, English, and then go on to bash these people. Everything would be simpler if people could see beyond the skin of another person; so what if they're white? So what if they don't speak the localised form of English which you do? Would you, in turn, speak BBC English when you're in London? Talk about respecting one's culture and language...

Make no mistake however, my point here isn't that I'm a banana or whatever they call them these days (that whole thing about being yellow on the outside and white on the inside, ie hating Chinese - blah I don't even know why they have to use a term that judges skin colour rather than language), I don't hate (ethnic) Chinese or the language - even though I got a D7, but hey, no more of it for the rest of my life! Sorta - and I don't hate foreigners, I also do not hate Singlish. I just despise discrimination and stereotyping of any form. Yes that includes all the labels which ACS and its students have been given over the years, but that's another story altogether. Just for the record, I admire people who are confidently bilingual, seriously.

On Singlish itself, I find it disgusting that some people equate it to broken English. As the above article pointed out, there is actually a science to how certain terms can and should be used, it even becomes an art to blend such colloquial qualities as "lah" and "leh" with good, grammatically correct English. Somehow, that probably explains why I hate the cheenaness so prevalent in Nanyang, I cannot understand how people, after 11 years of education in English could still have problems with it. If the problem doesn't lie within themselves, it definitely has to be in the system, but again, I guess I'll leave ranting about that to another time.

Anyways, good week so far, GP is quite officially the only subject I passed for blocks, hurrah. Artist's block again, and I've got nothing to show for art tomorrow. Well, nothing yet at least.

The Face of Man
Photoshop 7
(Click to enlarge)

Open to interpretation. But I guess it's obvious enough.

I know that many Catholics have come to true faith in Jesus Christ as Savior, in spite of the teaching of their Church. But let us never loose sight of the fact that there is great error in the central dogma of the Church. An error powerful enough to blind someone to the simplicity of simple faith in Christ as our only atonement for sin.

No Church saves anyone. It is faith in the fact that Christ died for our every sin. In so doing, He purchased a full pardon for all our sins. And when we die, we do not have to fear a dreadful intermediary place known as purgatory.

For the Bible promises, “ So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord. For we walk by faith, not by sight. We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.‿ (2 Corinthians 5:6-8)

I should really be completing Econs, but I realised that I really have no interest in this subject that's about how economies are managed. It's just so idiotic if you look at it, making something to govern your lives and then studying about it so that the next generation (or just simply others) can continue to govern, study, develop even more concepts and teach it to yet others (or if you like, to fill in the gap in your A Level cert).

So here I am reading "irrelevant" things again. But are they? I really don't know...I find it so hard to live the life of a Christian in this world, perhaps that's because I stopped going to church some 4 or so years ago, yet it's also probably the reason I stopped. But I think, I think I need to reaffirm my Faith. And quick. I really do feel empty, I know, and I believe, but do I really have true faith?

I know this is almost crossing the line to paranoia, but I'd like to think it as just being prepared. It is in the Bible afterall, I don't think it's really debatable if we're living in the End Times or not. In any case, I'm rather "out-dated", if any of you church-goers would like to educate the possibly-misinformed-me a little... feel free. (Please comment if you have something lenghty to say such that the shoutbox won't be flooded)

Please pardon the bad grammar in this following quote from a forum I visit.

i am too old to believe in govt bullshit.... i dun give those old dying man a sh*t... in my pt of view, i wun die for a country which exploits every single cent of mine... why shd i die to keep those govt a**hole in the office in the 1st place??? my uncle's mp cant even fight for his 5 bucks ezylink deposit... n he cant even vote coz there is no opposition party... why shd i fight for the despot sitting over my head??? enslaving me and my son??? i m a free individual, i am never a property of any1 and any organisiation.

My Reply:

LMAO

you're funny....

What can I say? Typical disgruntled Singaporean. There are much better ways to proclaim your "individuality", one way would be to actually provide valid arguments against this government rather then base everything on "feeling" and hearsay. Speak for yourself, who's the one that's bullshitting? Enslaving you and your son? Despot in rule? No opposition party? Why don't you go read some news and consider living in say... Zimbabwe, because that sounds just like what you're describing.
I guess the question that this brings up is...what do you want in life? What importance is a mere five dollars in a card, if you don't value it, isn't it valueless? Are you now without a roof? Without an education? Without food? I am seriously laughing at what you've said, please, when you haven't even begun to understand the situations which millions of other people in this very world are in; plight of getting displaced, having your people massacred, having your country obliterated, having your farm razed, having your sister sold to the sex trade, or travelling squeezed into a container with 50 other people to a country 3000 miles away in hopes of a better life; I don't think your cries of injustice are justified at all. I mean, seriously, you even have internet access, I think that says enough.

What a fool.