I'm not angry, I guess I deserved that, but I think I already explained myself well enough at the end of that entry. I can't help it, am I supposed to continually mask the struggles that I go through? Yes I know the world isn't as bad as it seems, that people don't really hate me, or scorn me, or mock me, or think that I'm a failure. So fine, I hate myself, I hate the world, I'm sorry but that's just me, and do you think I'm not trying to change? You know that too, you've always known, I just don't appreciate the way you just blew up because you didn't like what I said.
I'm not trying to play a game of pushing the blame around here, but please respect my thoughts and feelings, I'm just telling you that what I type is genuine. If it seems rash, then fine it shows I acted out of impulse. But let me tell you that it sometimes takes me a very long time to type something up, it doesn't just come naturally, I put immense thought into it in trying to rationalise what I'm saying. Yet I'm not really trying to make people understand, I'm just using this as an avenue for dispersing; for recording these thoughts. They may not be profound, they may not make sense, so what? Dammit just go away if you don't like reading what's here. I've said before I won't talk about how I had a great day because that is just hopelessly mundane and I never have great days anyway.
I know your intentions are good, but I think you just do not know how I really think.
Let me restate: I HATE STUDYING. I think it is useless, I think it is a complete utter waste of time. Yes go on, classify this as childish, blinded teenage angst. Whatever. I will stand by what I say, furthermore, just because I hate studying doesn't mean I would not be studying.
It's just a damned block test and I really don't care what the results are. They can screw me left right centre and upside down and I don't care. I will not conform myself to a system that's built on memorisation of content, working towards a common, end goal of an examination. I believe in education as learning, not studying. So I fail in this system, so be it.
That is (one of) the basis on which I see myself as a failure, because that really is how this world judges people. Please, read deeper into why I say the things I say. Paranoia, fear, hope, hate, truth; these are the things that rule my thoughts, I'd think you'd know better as a student of literature, I don't simply post passing remarks on this blog because I'm not that simple.
Gah. I hate explaining myself.
Tips in texturing, to be edited.
Weathering is also important in making things look more believable and blend in better with the environment, but similarly, it really depends on the style you want, notice that the original Generals vehicle skins are highly stylised and simplified and are not "dirtied up". You could do that, or go for the super realistic, or try to find a style you like (which also isn't difficult to replicate).
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It takes experimentation and practice to get it right, but it isn't hard. I helped PCTeen of AAOW with the Abrams and Humvee, but he's making other US unit skins and replicating the look and style rather well now.
First, know what look you're after, and why, how, and how much things can wear down. That means to study textures of materials, or to know what possibilities there are. (What if there's this other colour paint underneath, would it show through? How tough is this top layer? What will cause it to chip off?)
Second, know how to apply it, ie, know what tools to use in Photoshop. I'd suggest the brushes that splatter/spread well, use them on a lower opacity setting, both for application and removal. (eraser brush setting) Beware of repetition though, that is the last thing you want with an environmental effect that is indeed very random.
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I would vary the intensity of the values of your shading and highlights. In my view, they are determined by both the height/depth of the protrusion/depression, as well as the material type. Avoid very strong hightlighting because that suggest directional light, which you shouldn't portray on a flat static texture map.
If your background carries a hue, introduce a midrange hue with higher tone/value into your highlighting, preferrably with blending mode set to "colour dodge"; This will help to blend things together and add depth and richness to an otherwise flat piece of work.
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one tip when creating highlights or shades for planal extrusions or depressions is that if the depth (or height) is higher, the lighter or brighter (or darker if it is shadow) the highlight should be, thus for subtle grooves and such, you've added a little too much highlight
Comments (1)
i stumbled upon you're site and curiosly wanderd my eyes in every which way.the reason i did this was because you sound just like a person that i used to be very close to. you may not care, like most of you're words clearly state. but please, who are you? maybe if i took enough time to really look at what you seem to spend a lot of time on i would'nt even have to write you. though something mystical inside me told me other wise.
Posted by christina angenete | April 6, 2005 1:23 AM
Posted on April 6, 2005 01:23